This past July, I attended a training course designed for Women and Nonbinary (Enby) individuals to gain more autonomy in the mountains. The course was attended by three of us – on the outside, all women, but in truth, one participant was a woman, one non-binary and myself – a genderfluid woman.
The three of us arrived at this opportunity with different levels of skills gained from various mixes of experience, training courses, knowledge learned from YouTube, books and the mentorship of peers. The one thing we all lacked was confidence in what we knew, and our abilities to execute based on this knowledge.
In my experience I’ve found that mixed gender environments can hold women and gender diverse folks back as men step forward to lead, or “Help” or “show” us how things are done. Many folks are hesitant to speak up when they have a concern, or are experiencing a limitation in these mixed groups, as men will often step in to “solve” the issue without taking the time to understand it. This may include anything from stepping in and doing whatever is needed instead of mentoring someone through the process and solution, asking people to sit out of experiences instead of tailoring the experience so that everyone may participate, or simply ignoring or brushing off questions or concerns.
Now, clearly this does not happen in every instance – there are some folks who are more aware of how our societies gender roles and biases play out in teams and those mindful leaders take what steps they can to mitigate the issues that may arise. But the general trend is that men lead, and the rest follow, for better or worse.
This summer, our little group learned how to be supportive of one another. How to collaborate to modify objectives or change plans based on the needs of each individual person in the group. How to listen, ask clarifying questions and to really strive to understand instead of quickly jumping to a conclusion about the situation and pushing a solution. How to have the confidence to speak up, ask for help, raise concerns and how to respond to these same things in a supportive way with “how can I help,” “let’s talk about that,” and a mentoring attitude. We grew A LOT knowing that we’d be heard and supported. Our confidence increased and things we struggled with – walking through boulder fields, remembering crevasse rescue systems, taking the role of leader – became second nature.
While most of my outdoor experiences do involve mixed groups, and always will, I feel that the experience of learning and growing alongside other women and gender diverse individuals is key to becoming more comfortable and assertive in mixed group situations, and in one’s own skills and knowledge.